Alla Shapiro

My path to becoming a therapist felt like it chose me first—and I chose it right back. I’ve always been drawn to understanding why so many people struggle to accept themselves fully, to find compassion and dignity without being driven by performance or outcomes. That curiosity came from a personal place: I’ve felt that pressure for as long as I can remember. Even as a young person, I was self-aware enough to recognize that much of what I carried was a projection of my family and environment. But understanding it didn’t make it any easier to change the narrative I held about myself. That kind of mindset—one rooted in pressure and perfectionism—can quickly spiral into shame and self-doubt. I longed to be free of that, and I often tried to create spaces of emotional safety and acceptance for the people I loved. In those kinds of spaces, we get to experience the richness of life. We feel a sense of belonging, and we learn to trust that we can move with both the joy and the pain that life inevitably brings. That’s where my love for therapy began.

What should someone know about working with you?

When you work with me, I try to bring my whole self into session; I try to incorporate humor and relate to you on a person-to-person basis. I come in as a person first and a psychotherapist second. My goal is to give you clarity and to keep you grounded while you weather the challenges in your life, help you gain relationship satisfaction, and help you establish a life that promotes integrity and connection. We do this by increasing your relational and emotional intelligence. I integrate a multidisciplinary approach in which I aim to give you language to describe your emotions for yourself and for the people in your life as we explore the behavior, beliefs, and desired relief so we can do repair work at the deepest level to make long-lasting changes. For couples, I pull from the Gottman Method principles; I help you have conversations in a different way, finally see each other, and learn to choose each other over and over again (or not, and make peace with it).

How do your own core values shape your approach to care?

My core values include self-acceptance, connection, communication, and courage. I believe that many people grow up learning to prioritize other people's feelings before their own. As adults, they understand that taking this into their personal and professional relationships no longer serves them. I believe that developing resiliency-based skills early on in life is key to living a life of courage, self-acceptance, and authenticity. If you missed out on that and you need support to develop grit and enhance social and emotional intelligence, I am here to help you incorporate those skills and values into your life.